Nate's Journey Through WoW - Journal Entry 1

District: Blade's Edge
Race: Orc
Class: Warrior
New explored zones: The Den, The Hidden Path and The Valley of Trails
Quests Completed: Your Place In The Wolrd, Cutting Teeth, Simple Parchment, Glagar's Cactus Apple Suprise

After sheathing and unsheathing my axe for a few minutes, I talked to the ugly/balding orc with a yellow ! levitating above his head.
He gave me a quest to talk to another orc, this time orc number 2 had a yellow ? levitating above his head. Then, I received another quest.... okay, you probably don't want to read a WoW quest diary, so leave out the boring quest diary and get to my 'quirky dorky' diary. *clears throat* While attempting to complete the Cutting Teeth quest I saw a sweet looking mount, with a not so sweet looking rider. Well, he had sweet armor, but his face.... it... it looked like his name should be Napoleon, and to top it off, he only speaks french,
"Nostyec bur endrivis ras ash." he says. I have absolutely no idea what that reads. Okay, maybe that isn't french but it isn't English, Looks like some sort of European language.
After I finish marveling at how European this guys face looks like, he challenges me to a duel. He is a mage or warlock I'm not sure which one, but he still dominates me.
Licking my wounds from defeat I decide to get back at him. But how? I read the manual on the Human race and the Orc race.
I sat and compared the two in my mind, then I had a shall we say, 'light bulb moment' (without the light bulb).
I remembered that Orcs are a part of the Horde faction and the Humans are a part of the Alliance faction. That means my NPCs will attack Napoleon (high level European dude*). This time I challenge him to a duel, when the duel starts I make sure i'm near an Orc Grunt. After killing me with one of his spells he realizes that the Orc Grunt is attacking him. What happens the next few mins I didn't catch, mainly because I was jumping up and down in ghost form taking screen shots, but also because I couldn't find my body until I figured out that the gold arrow is my dead corpse.
Once i respawn I saw him running away from the Orc Grunt and two other Orc NPCs. (Those two lvl 35 orcs that ride on their wolfs and say, "You're annoying my dog!" and "What's that smell? Oh bad dog!").
Napoleon was making a run for it, big time, like, if this wasn't WoW he would be the male Marion Jones minus the steroids.
As he ran by a sleeping Lazy Peon the two 'Dog Riders' gave up, the grunt was chasing, but looked like he would give up soon too. So after a couple seconds of pumping myself up (faking my Orc was The Incredible Hulk) I ran infront of Napoleon/Marion Jones. With one incredible swing of my axe he was dead! (the NPCs got him down to 4 hp, but I still killed him).
After doing a few rounds of dancing and more Hulk impersonations, Napoleon/Marion Jones was back, but this time he brought his high level Night Elf friend. Night Elf and Napoleon/Marion Jones killed me for 5 min.
Feeling like Donkey Kong, (Partly because I am big and boofy, and partly because I am dying and respawning) I decided that Donkey Kong wasn't going to die again. So, i talked to the Spirit Healer, and respawned away from the two bullies.
Feeling pumped after killing a few boars, (like The Incredible Hulk that just swung a tank above his head then threw it into neverland*) I challenged a level 3 troll to a duel. In my constant attempt to look more Hulk-ish I took off all my armor. Realizing that no armor = more damage I feared that my Donkey Kong side would show. (you know the dead and respawning side) But luckily my Hulk-ness shined through. I won the duel and took some screen shots of me in Hulk form (armor-less).
As I was about to explore a new zone (The Hidden Path) i saw a sweet looking flaming horse pass me by. With once again a not so sweet rider, it was Napoleon/ Marion Jones. Then he did the "/pity" emote. I wildly charge at his horse but he got away. So in the end he is Napoleon/Marion Jones/Lance Armstrong.

The little * on the (high level European dude) statement is there so i can tell you guys that i am not hating on Europeans.
The little * on (like The Incredible Hulk that just swung a tank above his head then threw it into neverland*) statement is there so i can tell you that neverland is not related to a person with the last name Jackson.
No, I'm not afraid to get sued. REALLY, I'm NOT.